An Open Letter to Myself on this Blog’s First Anniversary

An entire year!? Did we make it? I know I have a propensity for starting things then rapidly losing interest and moving on. I hope we didn’t do that this time because in the week or so that I’ve been writing, I am absolutely in love with it. It’s consumes my free time and some of my not so free time. I sneak a paragraph or 7 at work or at home in the bathroom. Occasionally I even write with a screaming baby bouncing and batting at the tablet demanding to take precedence or while a toddler pulls out the entire bucket of wipes one by one. Sometimes the Kindergartner serenades me, spurred on by the periodic “uh huh” and “ohhhh, that sounds fun!” or hubs rambles about some sort of ball…sports ball, basketball, football, ball balls, who knows? I tune it all out because I looove writing! Currently things on the blog are completely random, there’s no rhyme or reason to our topic selection; I literally write about any and everything I feel like writing about. As it turns out writing isn’t like riding a bike, grammar and content, amongst other things are rusty to say the least. I hope by our first anniversary we’ve worked out a lot of kinks and things are flowing more smoothly. I also hope this has become more than just a “journal” and we have found some sort of direction. If not, I hope we’ve learned a lot and continue to write even if no one ever reads it.

Currently I am about a week into this blogging thing and have learned I’m mildly computer illiterate. Thank goodness for Google because without being able to Google “how to add labels to posts in Blogger” and “how to center headline in Blogger” we would be completely lost. Sidebar: Did you know that people blog about blogging? They have entire blogs detailing how to write and format blogs. For real! There’s an entire lingo and specific jargon that until you know makes it nearly impossible to communicate. I spend days trying to figure out how to ask the correct question in order to find a solution to my specific problem. I hope things are easier for us now.

By now hopefully we’ve transferred to NYC and are getting the hang of things in the big city! I cannot wait! As a know-nothing teen living in po-dunk Texas I dreamt of New York. I was certain that if I ever made it to NYC then I would have truly “made it”. Currently I am not even sure what “made it” means really. Like what has to happen for me to feel like I’ve “made it”? Do I even feel like I haven’t yet? I don’t think so but what do I know? I don’t know if it’s because I left home right after high school for the military and have moved so often but I don’t really have much of a sense of “home”. Pretty much, one place is as good as another. That’s not to say that transferring isn’t a complete bummer because packing up and moving your entire life every few years is a pain in the ass to say the least. Starting over is hard and after 14 years we’re pretty tired of it. Key and I have spoken on numerous occasions and have concluded that we feel pretty similar on this matter; while we don’t necessarily think we’ll find “home” in New York, what if we do?! What if we’re sucked in by all the culture and diversity? What if we finally find a place that we feel we absolutely fit, like a puzzle piece falling into place? Wouldn’t that be extraordinary? I wonder how many people in life actually find that? It sounds pretty storybook so I’d bet very few, nevertheless I hope we are the exception to the norm and actually find it.  

Another thing I hope we’ve gotten from this blog is finding an online community of like minded people. People on the same wavelength and even people who can open our eyes to things and give us more of a sense of perspective. Key and I are very involved in the election right now, we are both Independent but live in a deep, deep red state so even overhearing other people’s conversations can be maddening. Finding a niche in which we fit is a dream that I hope this blog helps us take one step closer to. (No pressure)

Another thing, I’m not sure if you’re aware or not but taking criticism isn’t exactly our forte. This blog is a huge risk that opens us up to criticism of the masses. The worst kind of masses because behind a keyboard everyone has brass balls and there are few things more annoying than an Internet tough guy. A big problem of mine is when I feel a person is absolutely unreachable I don’t try, I don’t even walk away, instead I point out how stupid they are. **sigh** Alas, I know that is not productive but I seem incapable of letting them continue on with their life as if they are not stupid. What if they didn’t know!?! What if they’ve lived their entire life up to this point not knowing that they’re stupid and I am the one to enlighten them?! Isn’t it my civic duty to inform them? No? Uuugghhh… I truly hope that this past year of blogging has helped me grow in this area because no one wishes things didn’t bother me as badly as they do more than ME.

With any luck we’ve not only learned these things but many things above and beyond that. I hope we’ve opened doors that help us take the next step in writing and life. Maybe we’ll be great! Or maybe we’ll just be ordinary. Ordinary with our husband, three kids and tiny blog that only 4 people read. Is that so bad? I don’t think so. The older I get the more I am seeing that in spite of everything you read or see on TV, ordinary isn’t so bad after all. Ordinary does not mean unhappy and is a privilege denied to many; I think we’ll be content with completely ordinary…but oh the allure of the extraordinary! I hope that we’re happy with our everyday lives but I also hope we never lose the appeal of the unknown!