As Seen on TV

Does anyone else avoid QVC and other infomercials like the plague? Lort, help me! I cannot even walk past the “As Seen on TV” isle at Wal-Mart without finding 13 things that make me unsure of how I’ve lived my life deprived of thus far!

Love at first purchase!

Hamburger Stuffer- Dude… Dude…  This gadget enables you to put whatever you want inside a burger. You’re only limited by your imagination. Cheese, olives, onions and peppers, pico, what-eva you want

Jeggings- Don’t act like you’re too fancy for Jeggings! I bet my left nipple that you rock the heck out of tights on any occasion you can get away with it. These are denim leggings WITH faux pockets. Big booty girls know the value of a well placed pocket. They rule. Get over it. Buy them and thank me later.

Magic Mesh

Magic Mesh- It’s basically a magnetic screen door. What it lacks in class it makes up for in awesomeness! I used to have one of these and it was great. Alas it didn’t stand a chance against a toddler though. It adheres to the outside of your doorframe with adhesive strips then has strong magnets going down the center so it’s easy to open and always snaps closed. Perfect for keeping bugs out of the house while allowing a nice breeze in.

Furniture Feet- Duuuude these are epic. As someone who moves every few years I cannot recommend these highly enough. They make moving large furniture a cinch. You put one of these little plastic discs under each leg or corner and boom, it slides easily. Simple and ingenious.

Battle Balloon Color Burst- Gone are the day of sitting at the spicket filling one balloon at a time then tying it, lather, rinse, repeat over and over again until you have enough to fight with only to use them all in .47 seconds.  This thing has 3 bundles of 40 balloons each connected to individual tubes that all run to one hose connector. You screw it onto your hose and it fills them all in less than a minute! Easy day! WE used these at my last family reunion and it is seriously as easy as it sounds.

Star Shower- I’m sure you’ve seen them already but they will soon be even more common, I plan on using them this Christmas too. It looks like one of those solar lights you line your patio with. You stake it into the ground, flip the switch and boom! There are hundreds of LED laser lights on whatever you’ve pointed it at. You can even take the head off and put it in your kid’s bedroom for a fancy nightlight.



My Pillow

My Pillow- I actually have 2 of these and I am now the person that travels with their own pillow. I am spoiled to this pillow and refuse to use a different one. It doesn’t hold its exact form as advertised but it somehow still remains perfectly in place and molds easily as you move throughout the night.

Snackeeze- It’s a cup with a straw and there’s a little closeable compartment on top for snacks. It’s ridiculous and of course both of my kids want one. Their grandma got it for them for Christmas and I hide it because it’s a pain to clean.

ZippySack- We don’t have this but my Kindergartener almost has me convinced that it will make our lives easier. It’s essentially a fitted sheet with a blanket sewn to the bottom and zippers on the two long sides. You can zip your kids in it at night and “Mom, it would make fixing my bed so easy! I would fix it all the time!”

Spicy Shelf

Spicy Shelf- Aaggghhhh I need this!!! I don’t know why I don’t own it yet but I will probably remedy that soon. It’s a little buildable shelf that lines the two sides and back of your spice cabinet creating three rows one on top of the other, so you can stack and easily view all of your spices!!! How cool is that?! I am currently living with my regular, plain ol’ jumble of spices like a peasant. Boo.

Stretchkins- It is a stuffed animal with stretchy arms and legs. On each arm/leg there is an elastic band that kids can slip their feet or hands in and walk around wearing it. That’s it. $20 that your kids will swear they can’t live without. We have 2. 

No-go's for me:

As you can see this list is substantially shorter because I adore handy little doodads!



Wax Vac

Wax Vac- Ear wax remover… I don’t need to say much more about this. It’s pretty self-explanatory. Ew.

Pop-Up Outdoor Food Covers

Pop-Up Outdoor Food Covers- Spring loaded mesh cylinders that are made to sit over open food containers at picnics and such…  Not my speed. Why are we eating outside? I don’t like it. No.

Genie Bra- You can’t cut corners on some things and any woman with hefty fun sacks knows this is one area in which you get what you pay for. Don’t waste your time, blah.  

A few classics that need no introduction:

Chia Pet

Chia Pet- They're actually kinda cool now. They come in a million different shapes. This zombie one is kinda rad.

Snuggie- No one will ever forget this hideous albeit comfy and warm blanket dress! You may not have owned one but I bet you secretly wanted to. I run hot so I don't use blankets otherwise I would be neck deep in these delightful ponchos!

Pillow Pet- It's a pillow that buttons in half with various animal heads. That's it. We have 2. (Insert annoyed faced emoji)



Shake Weight

Shake Weight- Never will we forget this tacky little gadget! Like working out isn't embarrassing enough for people like me. Now in addition to turning red and sweating profusely I can appear as if I am practicing for some sort of vulgar Olympics. (Hey, if Curling is considered a sport I'm convinced anything can be)